DASFAM_76

"……"

Bai Xu felt as though the entire bar had gone quiet. Although he had already suspected it in his heart, learning the truth still left him stunned for a moment.

The bar was busy with people coming and going, but few drinkers ventured into their corner.

Zhang Changning gripped his now-empty glass and glanced sideways at him, "Do you remember, the first time we sat and talked in a bar, you thought I didn't look like my second brother?"

He took off his fluffy little cat ear hat, revealing the naturally curly hair underneath, "See, this is different too."

They weren't biological brothers, and he wasn't a child of the Zhang family either, so how could there possibly be any resemblance in appearance?

Bai Xu's brow furrowed slightly, a trace of guilt settling in his heart, "Changning, I'm sorry, I only said it casually back then, I didn't mean anything by it."

No wonder he had caught a flash of disappointment in the other's eyes at the time. He had thought it was just his imagination and hadn't paid it much mind.

Zhang Changning smiled and nudged him, "Why are you apologizing? I didn't mean to blame you at all. I've been hearing words like that my whole life, since I was little."

Bai Xu opened his mouth, and for once found himself at a loss for how to continue the conversation.

Zhang Changning spoke up on his own, "Actually, none of them know. I've known for a long time that I'm not the Zhang family's biological child."

Not only did he know, but he had secretly collected some hair and had it tested, completely confirming the matter.

"My dad, my mom, my two older brothers, and even Third Brother and the others, all think I don't know, that I don't remember my own background. But I'm naturally smart, I remember quite a lot."

The second half of that sentence carried his own unique touch of spoiled pride, yet concealed an unspeakable sadness beneath it.

"Bai Xu, there are some things I've been bottling up inside for many years, but I feel like I can trust you, like I can tell you everything."

Zhang Changning couldn't quite explain why he trusted Bai Xu so deeply, someone he had known for less than a year.

Perhaps it was because the other had once been an adopted child of the Bai family as well, or perhaps trust between people was simply destined from the start.

"Mm, I'll keep your secret."

Bai Xu gave his response, intending to be a proper listener.

Zhang Changning poured the remaining liquor into his own glass and drank it all in one go.

Spurred on by the alcohol, he completely opened up, "Actually, the Zhang family once lost a child."

Bai Xu was startled, and a thought suddenly flashed through his mind, the words Shang Yanxiao had said just the night before:

"Changning has been raised as the apple of the Zhang family's eye since he was little. Even when he went abroad to study, the Zhang family hired him a dedicated personal assistant and a close-protection bodyguard, to ensure his daily life and travels were safe every day."

"……"

So it was because they had lost a child before, that they kept such a close watch over Zhang Changning?

"I only found out about this later," Zhang Changning took a deep breath, "This name of mine originally belonged to the true third young master of the Zhang family."

Bai Xu's brow furrowed slightly, "...How did it happen? How was the child lost?"

Zhang Changning shook his head, "I don't know the details very well. I quietly looked into it a bit, and it seems the postpartum nanny they hired at the time made a mistake."

When she had taken the child to the hospital for a vaccination, two traffickers had worked together to snatch him away, and from that point on he was never found.

"My mom was deeply devastated by this. She fell into depression for a time, and the health of the older family members also deteriorated steadily."

"My dad couldn't attend to the company's affairs for a long stretch. He kept traveling from city to city, from one children's welfare home to another, rushing off at the slightest hint of a lead."

This went on for nearly two years, until he spotted a Zhang Changning who was not yet four years old at a welfare home.

"I don't know why he decided to bring me home, but I was simply the lucky one."

A shimmer of moisture gathered in Zhang Changning's eyes. Memories that should have faded long ago into the depths of his mind remained vivid, "I remember him crouching down and asking me whether I would be willing to call him Dad."

"I did, and then he brought me back to the Zhang family home. I had never seen such a beautiful big house before..."

The young Madam Zhang had been gentle and beautiful, yet the moment she saw him she broke down in tears. The elder Mr. and Madam Zhang were equally attentive and caring toward him, finding new ways every day to cheer him up.

"And then there was my oldest brother, and Second Brother."

"My oldest brother was tall and sturdy, and he treated me exceptionally well. Sometimes when my childish side came out, he would just let me cause a fuss, and he would even offer to let me climb on his back and play horse."

Although he had not yet met the legendary eldest young master of the Zhang family, Bai Xu could picture the scene in his mind.

He couldn't help but ask, "What about Dr. Zhang then?"

"Second Brother?"

When Zhang Changning said that name, his voice softened with a slight nasal tone, "Second Brother was not nice, he was so harsh toward me. He, he didn't like me at first. My mom and dad said that from the time I was little I always liked clinging to him."

Even though Zhang Changxu was always cold and sharp-tongued, he would still trail along behind him like a shadow.

Whenever he got his hands on something good to eat, Zhang Changning would always offer it to Zhang Changxu first. Even the little cream cakes handed out at kindergarten, he would tuck them into his small schoolbag and carry them home, presenting them to Zhang Changxu like a proud little treasure.

The result was that the rabbit-shaped cake got completely jostled to pieces inside the bag. Zhang Changxu didn't mind, but Zhang Changning was the one who ended up feeling aggrieved first.

"Then one time, I went to play at the Shang family's place. Shang Queyan absolutely insisted on taking me to climb the decorative rock fountain, and ended up causing me to fall off the top and fracture my right hand."

According to the servants' recollections, Zhang Changning had been in such pain that he couldn't cry out for a long while, holding it in until his entire face nearly turned purple and he was almost on the verge of passing out.

"……"

Bai Xu recalled what Shang Yanxiao had said about Shang Queyan's mischievousness as a child, and was not the least bit surprised.

Zhang Changning continued recalling, "But from that time on, Second Brother stopped being annoyed with me. He probably blamed himself for not keeping a proper eye on me. After I was hurt, he was the one who helped take care of me."

Of course, it was also because Zhang Changning's clinging only grew worse than before.

For meals, he would only let Zhang Changxu feed him. For clothes, he would only let Zhang Changxu dress him. For baths, he would only let Zhang Changxu help him. Even at night when it was time to sleep, he would grab his little blanket and run off to Zhang Changxu's room.

"Because of that, my oldest brother was sulky for quite a while, saying that he was clearly the one who treated me better, so why did I like Second Brother more?"

Zhang Changning's eyes lit up bright at the memory, "I said, because Second Brother is slim and tall and better looking."

Bai Xu drank along with him, letting out a light laugh to ease the heavy atmosphere, "Your oldest brother must have been even more sulky after hearing that."

The brightness in Zhang Changning's eyes was quickly replaced by a quiet sadness, "All these years, no one in the family has ever mentioned the lost child in front of me, and in the eyes of outsiders, I am the true third young master of the Zhang family."

"Bai Xu, but I know that everything I have should rightfully belong to someone else. It is I who took over his life and claimed his family."

"Whenever I think about this, I feel something I can't quite put into words."

It was guilt, it was unease, it was a troubled conscience, and buried beneath it all, a secret flicker of relief that could never be spoken aloud to anyone.

"The Zhang family feels to me like an extraordinary gift from God, only this gift feels as though it could be taken back at any moment, and all I can do is hold it tightly in both hands for now."

"I don't dare set it aside carelessly, I don't dare let it go, and I don't dare to have..," any more wishes beyond this.

Bai Xu noticed Zhang Changning stopping himself before he could finish. He thought back on everything he had encountered and experienced since getting to know him, and the suspicion forming in his heart took on an ever clearer shape.

"Changning. Back in N City when we ran into that artist friend of yours, Andrew, I was out on the bar balcony catching some air afterward, and he came and found me on his own and struck up a conversation. He said he had once pursued you."

"But you turned him down, with the reason being that you already had someone you liked."

Bai Xu had laid all the groundwork he needed, and let his breath settle quietly without giving himself away, "You... like Zhang Changxu?"

Otherwise, why would he have come here all by himself in low spirits after hearing that Zhang Changxu was going on a blind date?

"……"

Zhang Changning's pupils trembled sharply, and a rush of shame at having his secret exposed flooded through him in an instant. His cheeks and neck flushed red in no time at all, until his whole person looked like a freshly boiled shrimp.

Zhang Changning didn't dare meet Bai Xu's inquiring gaze, and immediately lowered his head, overcome with embarrassment.

Bai Xu realized how abrupt and intrusive he had been and was just about to apologize, when Zhang Changning's response came through, barely audible.

"I don't dare."

"……"

It was not a denial, yet not a confirmation either, but rather the most bittersweet three words: "I don't dare."

They were brothers of the Zhang family in name, and even though he knew full well there was no blood relation between them, how could the family ever allow such a thing? And what would outsiders think?

Zhang Changning had always believed he had kept it well hidden, but now, belatedly, panic set in.

He nervously grabbed hold of Bai Xu's arm and pleaded in a stumbling voice, "Bai Xu, I, I'm begging you."

"You, you can't tell anyone about this. I, I have never crossed any lines, I truly haven't!"

"I know, don't be so nervous," Bai Xu patted the back of his tightly clenched hand, "I promised to keep your secret, and I won't go back on my word."

Zhang Changning's eyes welled up with a single tear, which he tried with all his might to hold back, "I, I can't let him know that I have such shameful thoughts. I don't want him to hate me."

Perhaps before long, Zhang Changxu would have his own love, would get married, and just like Zhang Changfeng, would have children of his own.

And the only thing he could do was bury these thoughts of his that could never see the light of day, and never disturb the normal life the other person deserved to have.

"……"

Bai Xu's heart ached along with him. There were a thousand things he wanted to say, yet he didn't know where to begin. Under any other circumstances, he would have encouraged his friend to go after love boldly.

But what stood between Zhang Changning and Zhang Changxu was a family relationship that even he could not bring himself to untangle out loud.

Bai Xu had no choice but to wave over a bar server, "Excuse me, could we get another bucket of the special blend whiskey over here?"

"Of course."

Before long, a small bucket of the special blend whiskey was brought over.

Bai Xu poured Zhang Changning a glass on his own initiative, "Although drinking can get you into trouble, it's not always a bad thing. Besides, we're on holiday with nothing pressing to do, so I'll drink a few more rounds with you tonight."

Zhang Changning paused for a moment, letting his true feelings show, "Thank you."

Clunk!

Their glasses knocked together, and the liquor sliding down their throats suppressed a great many feelings.

Zhang Changning had already drunk nearly half a bucket more than Bai Xu, and with too many things weighing on his heart, he slipped into a heavy drunken state with little resistance.

Bai Xu knew when to stop. He called over a bar server for help, intending to ask them to assist in sending Zhang Changning back to his room.

But the moment the two of them had just guided the dizzy and stumbling Zhang Changning out of the elevator, they ran straight into a familiar figure in the hotel lobby.

Zhang Changxu was dressed in a thick black coat, carrying a simple travel bag in his hand, and was at the front desk consulting about checking in.

"Dr. Zhang?"

"……"

Zhang Changxu turned his gaze back, and the cold indifference in his eyes softened the instant they landed on Zhang Changning. He left the front desk staff member he had been speaking with and walked over quickly.

"Why are you two here? Did he drink again?"

"Ah?"

Bai Xu thought about how he had done nothing at all to stop Zhang Changning from drinking and felt a little guilty, "Well, we did have a bit to drink at the bar on the fifth floor."

Before the words had even finished leaving his mouth, Zhang Changxu reached out and gently pressed his hand against Zhang Changning's neck, which was burning hot from the alcohol, "Ningning?"

Bai Xu also called out, "Changning, Dr. Zhang is here."

"……"

Zhang Changning opened his bleary eyes, and even deep in his drunken haze, the instinctive dependence buried in his bones had him burrowing straight into Zhang Changxu's arms.

Zhang Changxu instinctively parted the two sides of his coat and out of habit wrapped Zhang Changning up into his embrace.

Bai Xu watched the two of them, his gaze shifting slightly, "Dr. Zhang got here rather quickly. You haven't checked in yet?"

Zhang Changxu looked down at Zhang Changning nestled in his arms, and for once failed to notice the pointed look Bai Xu was giving him, "Mm."

Last night, after receiving Shang Yanxiao's message, he had packed his things and booked a flight over straight away. Unfortunately he ran into a blizzard during his layover, and the repeated flight delays had made him several hours late.

Zhang Changxu glanced at Bai Xu, "I can take it from here."

Bai Xu gave a slight nod, "That works. I'll reach out tomorrow once Changning has slept it off. It's getting late, so I'll head back too."

"Alright."

...

Bai Xu made his way alone toward the villa he was staying in. He had only gotten halfway there when he came across Shang Yanxiao's figure.

Their eyes met, and Shang Yanxiao walked over quickly, "A' Xu."

Bai Xu went to meet him, "Why did you come out?"

Shang Yanxiao said, "It was getting late. I was worried the two of you were still drinking at the bar without any restraint, so I was going to go check."

Even though Bai Xu had already sent him a message earlier to let him know that he and Zhang Changning were drinking, as time passed he found himself unable to sit still any longer.

"By the way, where's Changning?"

"Dr. Zhang came. He took him away."

"That's fine then."

The two of them walked back together.

Bai Xu looked over at Shang Yanxiao beside him and brought up the topic deliberately, "Last night you told me the Zhang family keeps a close watch on Changning, and I wasn't quite convinced. Now I'm completely convinced."

Shang Yanxiao caught the implication behind Bai Xu's words and came to a stop at the villa entrance, "What is it you want to ask?"

Bai Xu punched in the electronic door code before him, "Someone as sharp as Third Young Master couldn't possibly not know what I want to ask, could he?"

Just now at the bar, he had been afraid of accidentally offending or hurting Zhang Changning, so he hadn't dared to press further.

Since Zhang Changning was a child the Zhang family had adopted, then what had become of the original Third Young Master of the Zhang family? Had he gone missing? Had they simply stopped looking? Or had he already met with an unfortunate accident?

The two of them went inside, and Shang Yanxiao gently pulled the villa door shut behind them, "As an outsider, I shouldn't really say too much about the Zhang family's affairs."

Bai Xu raised an eyebrow slightly, "I understand, but I can keep a secret. If you truly feel it's not appropriate, then just pretend I never asked."

"……"

Shang Yanxiao could tell that Bai Xu had already pieced most of it together, and had no choice but to share what he knew for certain, "The Zhang family once 'lost' a child."

Bai Xu heard the familiar opening and asked a question he already knew the answer to, "Ran into traffickers?"

"I was still young back then. I only heard bits and pieces later from my parents and from Changxu. At the time, the postpartum nanny had colluded with the traffickers to kidnap the young master. The original plan was to extort some money."

"Afterward, the nanny grew fearful of the Zhang family's influence and felt the risk was too great, so she changed her plan at the last minute and made it look as though the child had been snatched away by the traffickers, who then sold the child to a buyer who was unable to have children."

"……"

Bai Xu was startled once again.

So that was the truth of what had really happened.

It was only after the Zhang family reported it to the police, and the investigation turned up part of the truth, that the nanny and the traffickers, seeing that everything was about to come to light, finally confessed to all of it.

"Only the gap between when the child was sold and when they confessed was far too long. The buyer the traffickers named gave very little information, and the transaction had not even been face to face, so contact had long since been lost."

Tracking technology more than twenty years ago was not yet advanced, and once a child went missing it was very difficult to find them again.

"This became a lingering wound for the older generation of the Zhang family. But no matter what they tried, the child simply could not be found. Watching Madam Zhang's state grow worse and worse, Mr. Zhang finally..."

Bai Xu noticed Shang Yanxiao's difficulty and gave him a way out, "Changning was adopted? He and Dr. Zhang don't look unlike brothers to me."

Shang Yanxiao accepted the framing without objection, "To outsiders, Zhang Changning is the returned Third Young Master of the Zhang family."

As for the truth of the matter, only the Zhang family themselves and the third branch of the Shang family, who were close to them, knew.

"All these years, the Zhang family has never given up searching for that child. They just feared hurting Changning's feelings, so they have always kept it quiet."

More than twenty years had passed in the blink of an eye, and sadly the chances of finding the child grew slimmer with each passing year.

Shang Yanxiao, worried Bai Xu might misunderstand, explained, "Even though Changning is an adopted child, no one in the Zhang family has ever treated him as a substitute for that other child."

Even carrying the name Zhang Changning, the love and care the Zhang family gave him was entirely his own and no one else's.

Bai Xu nodded, "Right, I was just thinking."

Even though he hadn't known Zhang Changning for very long—

The other was bright and lively in nature, and faced whatever came his way without panic or fuss. One look and you could tell he had been raised with love and doted on in a warm family, which was why he had grown into someone with such an open and easy-going character.

On top of that, Zhang Changning had exceptionally fine and striking looks, and it was hard not to take a liking to him.

As an outsider, Shang Yanxiao could only speculate, "All these years, the Zhang family has kept a close watch over Changning. It's probably because that incident left its mark on them."

Bai Xu raised an eyebrow slightly, but didn't fully accept that explanation.

No matter how closely they watched over him, Zhang Changning was already an adult. Take this very situation for instance.

Knowing full well that Zhang Changning was on a ski holiday in Switzerland with the two of them accompanying him, Zhang Changxu had still flown over at the earliest opportunity?

Even between brothers with the closest of bonds, things wouldn't need to be this urgent, would they?

Zhang Changning had been so young when he was adopted, yet he had still been able to remember that he and the Zhang family shared no blood. Could Zhang Changxu, who was five or six years older than him, possibly not know?

Knowing full well the two of them were not biological brothers, and yet still being able to act with such closeness toward each other?

The way Zhang Changxu had pulled Zhang Changning into his arms just now in the hotel lobby, even an outsider would not be wrong to call it the embrace of two lovers.

Shang Yanxiao noticed the person beside him had drifted off in thought, "A' Xu, what are you thinking about?"

Bai Xu came back to himself, "Nothing."

He had a feeling he had glimpsed some extraordinary secret, but couldn't quite confirm it fully yet, "I'm tired. Let's get some rest too. Here's hoping tomorrow brings good weather."

"Alright."

...

The next day, the snow had cleared and the sky was bright, a fine day for skiing.

Bai Xu and Shang Yanxiao slept in past ten, and only after a quick wash and freshen up did they plan to sort out both breakfast and lunch in one go.

The two of them had barely stepped into the restaurant when they spotted familiar faces by the floor-to-ceiling windows on the ground floor. With the ease that comes from years of friendship, Shang Yanxiao and Zhang Changxu caught each other's eye across the room.

Shang Yanxiao brought Bai Xu over with him, "I was originally thinking of contacting you after we ate, but it turns out we ended up coming down for a meal at about the same time."

Zhang Changning had his back to them and was eating, his cheeks puffed out slightly. He had swapped to a new rabbit ear hat, its long ears bobbing gently with each movement, which was rather endearing.

Zhang Changxu smiled, "We only just got here ourselves. Sit down and eat together?"

Zhang Changning let out a muffled protest before they could, "No!"

He quickly swallowed the food in his mouth and turned to look at Shang Yanxiao and Bai Xu.

Bai Xu was a little surprised, "Why do you look all puffed up?"

Zhang Changxu replied knowingly, "He drank too much last night and has a headache. Still throwing his little young master tantrums. Don't mind him."

"I am not!"

Zhang Changning fired back without much conviction, then immediately turned to Bai Xu with a friendlier look, "Bai Xu, you can sit next to me. Third Brother cannot."

Shang Yanxiao was baffled, "What did I do?"

Zhang Changning glanced over at Zhang Changxu, who had suddenly appeared before him the moment he woke up. The more he thought about it, the more sulky he felt, so he simply reached out and pulled his friend to his side, at once a form of payback and a bit of a joke.

"Bai Xu, you saw it, didn't you? Third Brother is a leaky sieve, completely unreliable! Listen to me, don't stay with him anymore."

Bai Xu couldn't hold back a laugh and deliberately looked over at Shang Yanxiao to tease him, "Mm, I think so too~"

Shang Yanxiao was helpless against Bai Xu and could only turn his exasperated gaze toward Zhang Changxu, "Second Zhang, find some time to keep your kid in line."

Zhang Changxu took a slow sip of water and let Zhang Changning carry on making a scene, "Didn't you just see? The kid's grown up enough to run away from home now. There's nothing I can do."

"……"

Zhang Changning, with a guilty conscience, said nothing in reply. The rabbit ears on top of his head gave a little tremble.

Bai Xu found it all genuinely adorable and couldn't resist reaching out to squeeze his friend's fake ears, "Changning, we're going skiing in a bit. Are you two joining?"

Zhang Changning responded eagerly, "Yes!"

–

TL: Muji

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